Solo Australia roadtrip

So I’m on this trip to Australia for an indeterminate amount of time or until I run out of money I guess. Basically I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands since I kind of quit my job in Berlin without a replacement lined up. I know adults don’t often have much free time unless they’re one of those Instagram prostitutes so I decided to take advantage while I can. Or maybe those women thought people follow them because of their witty hashtags. Fun depressing fact; when you graduate high school, you’ll have had more than half the holidays you’ll ever have from then on. The plan is to go up the East coast in an automobile. I’ve hired an SUV for a month and bought a surfboard. I can’t surf (and barely swim but hey salt water helps you float right), but I’m going to do my best to learn. A few years ago I pretty much got the hang of foam boards which are longer and much more buoyant. This time I have a regular one which is maybe a bit longer than the average. As usual I’m travelling alone because people can’t stand me (hey at least I’m in no doubt about one thing).

Right now I’m over halfway through this trip up the west coast, so I have some stories (some with actual other humans involved!) maybe for another post. I’ll cover the accommodation thing quickly as it’s quite a general point that’s probably the most important thing once you land. There’s been a lot of illegal camping I've had to do, since for some reason in spite of the fact Australia is rather big, you’re not allowed to legally camp in most places along the coast. I understand that RVs wouldn’t be allowed but tiny one person tents? Or what about simply parking somewhere off the main road in the middle of nowhere and sleeping in your car? Neither do any harm at all, yet for some reason both are explicitly banned in general. So I’m technically forced to camp in one of the official camping grounds (slums) where you have to pay 40 bucks most of the time at commercial places (go figure). That’s completely not suited for my purposes. I’ve tried to do it the legal way but get this. Every time I pay 40 bucks, I’m standing out in these crowded camping grounds like a sore thumb. Everyone else has massive tents and/or RVs with complicated setups. Then there’s me with a small SUV and a tent which actually has less room than if I were to sleep in the car. Instead of the sound of waves hitting the shore or wildlife like if I camped like camping should be, I’m treated to the pitter patter (not) of noisy ADHD children in the evening, loud assholes heading drinking or leaving for a night out at night, and then returning noisily in the early hours of the morning. Then of course in a full campground like they all are, people start getting up at like 7am. And guess what, my tent wall doesn’t shelter me from noise. I heard one kid walk past saying to his parent presumably: “look at that small tent!”, and one adult later making a comment about my tent though I can’t remember what it was. Surly I’m not the only single person travelling in a car who wants to cover ground creatively, and stop to be a little one with nature? Well screw you government rules or whatever. As I write this I’m sitting on my collapsible chair on a completely private beach. It’s one of the darkest skies I’ve seen and I can see so many stars. I’m at least 5km from the nearest real road, and yes if I die here no one will find me, but this is what I came here to see. Not Timmy and his friends playing tag and tripping over my tent lines. Not Chad and Mike with their tarty girlfriends arriving back at the grounds in their Uber.

Other than doing my own thing for accommodation. I have a friend in the city where I landed, so that was a nice launching pad arrangement for my trip. Could easily pick up the car, organise myself, and leave with no stress. Was nice to see her too. Also every few days I’ll try to stay at a hotel, motel, hostel etc. Just to reorganise myself, have a non-stressful shit, shave and a shower. I’m still a novice at this kind of thing though. I’m trying to work my way to being more economical and all that. As a beginner, camping like this is pretty disconcerting at times, but I think it helps build character. For instance, right now it’s completely pitch black. All I can hear is the thumping of what I dearly hope are Wallabies or Kangaroos, loud waves, and I guess crickets? I still need to find my way back up a steep slope to the tent as well. A few times I’ve bought a six pack of beer prior to settling down on a beach or forward base like this, and then had to go back tipsy as fuck. One of those times I was roaming an abandoned path in the outback looking for a kebab shop. This is how people die, but it’s also how you live. So sayeth this slightly tipsy retard.

PlacesJack MirzablogComment